Okay,sinking back down again.the physical stuff i can try to adapt to,it's all the emotional drama,I hate.I'm tired so very tired of all these negative feelings that keep coming up,will this well ever run dry?
What about me?
It isn't fair.I've had enough now I want my share.
Can't you see I want to live
But you just take more than you give.
What about me?
This is the chorus to the song What about me? Originally sung by Moving Pictures in the 80s and covered by Shannon Noll on Australian Idol.Both versions are great,it's sort of my anthem at the moment,MS sure does take more than it gives.
I'm having a woe is me day,feeling very sad and sorry for myself.I want to crawl into bed and hide away from the world.I'm feeling very isolated so want to isolate myself further.
I hate listening to myself moan and whine but I don't know how to stop,guess I need to go back over all that cognitive therapy stuff the psychologist gave me when I was seeing her.All this counsellors and psychologists and all the work I've done seems to be for nothing.When my first thoughts are those of negativity and sadness,instead of joy and happiness.I wish I could be someone else instead of me,I wish I could open my head up and scrape out all the bad stuff(fix up the lesions while I've got it open).Don't want to do this anymore,it's all too hard.I must have done something pretty damn evil and awful in another life to have all this stuff dumped on me in this one.
I so hope there's a heaven I think I deserve it,living on earth has been pretty hellish.
I have to count my blessings and get myself out of this funk.1,2,3,4, okay blessings counted.
You're alive, and you have new friends who are learning to love you. And hey, you were recently at one of the loveliest Tupperware Parties ever, at least that's how I feel about it. I hope you feel like that too.
ReplyDeleteThe event in early June that Helen's organising will be terrific fun and we'll see each other again. The sun's shining without making it too hot, and at least where I live, the birds are all chirping happily!
I hope you're feeling happier again soon sweetie!
Your here & that is an awesome thing its called LIFE!
ReplyDeleteI agree it is hard & some how I think this will make you & all of us stronger because of it.
You need to find your inner strenght to keep fighting & holding on...hell yeah its tough but so are you..you may not see it or feel it but putting your voice into words & doing what you do shows the strenght you have.
You are loved
Thank you Carolyn and Jackie,thank you for caring.I am so grateful to have both of you in my life,Thank you.
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