Starting to get frustrated with myself,I go to bed at night and my thoughts are beginning to whirl again.I find myself actually laying there,"writing" a blog entry,putting the words in the right order and making sure it flows well. Them I get up in the morning turn on the computer put my fingers on the keyboard and........nothing!! All my thoughts gone,perfectly constructed sentences disappeared and I sit here thinking"What did I want to say?" Blank,so I go over to facebook scroll around there for awhile hoping something will come back,then forget what I was doing!!
I have been going to a lot of MS sites recently,I suppose I'm starting to accept that I REALLY do have it and that I'm not going to wake up one day and be able to walk like a normal person and have none of the other problems I have.I think part of me deep down is hoping that this is a huge joke that everyone is in on except me  and that eventually I'll catch on and the joke will be over.I know that's not going to happen but I can still pretend can't I?
I've realized that there is a huge amount of information out there and an even huger amount of misinformation as well,trying to sort out the good from the bad sometimes does my head in,some of the good stuff has ended up on my facebook wall,it seems to be coming an MS advocacy site! I think some of my friends might be getting fed up with being bombarded by MS info! Oh well at least there's a lot less "Woe is me,My life sucks,Why me?" status updates than there used to be!
I have been a lot more settled in myself the last couple of weeks,I think starting this blog and getting out some of the thoughts has really helped me.