Been having a relatively good day today,up until the last half hour or so.My head is wobbly and buzzy and I can't work out why.Might be cos I wasn't hungry and didn't eat lunch,but it's 5 pm and I just put dinner in the oven so I guess I can wait.
Anyway,some of what is here is writings from other places that I wanted to keep all in one place,so some of it is from emails or other groups or facebook statuses.There was one status I wrote out a few months back that I wrote out as kind of a stand for who I am but of course now I want it,I can't find it! And I don't feel like trawling thru months of pages on my facebook just to find it.I really should I'm pretty sure it was amazingly insightful,brilliant and would have been the most significant piece of writing ever.Yeah okay,I can kid myself here!
I HAVE MS but I am NOT MS. I have a disease but it doesn't have me,I am still me.Who I was before MS is whi I am now.I still love the same things,hate the same things. Daffodils are still my favourite flowers.(I call them happy flowers,there so bright and cheery.) I still hate brussel sprouts.Purple in all it's shade was and is my favourite colour.I still hate spiders,horrible creepy ugly things. I still worry too much,care too much about what other people think.I still love my children more than I can express,I still feel sorry for other people because those 3 amazing people are my children not theirs.
I'm still ME,still impatient,a control freak,I'm still caring,considerate,kind.I'm still detail orientated need to have the i's dotted and t's crossed.I still like my house clean and straight and tidy,with everything in it's place,I still hate cleaning and straightening and tidying and putting things in their place.Therefore I live in frustration that i can never find anything when I want it!!
I still hate rude people and knowing that at times I am one of them,I hate that I have the same insecurites,low self esteem(no self esteem) that I had before.I still don't know what I want to BE when I grow up( Hurry up Alison,you're 48 soon,time is running out) I still love watching V8 super cars racing.I love the same books,movies TV shows.George Clooney and that guy from Love Actually with the AMAZING body.wish I could remember his name(he dated the girl who's brother was in the hospital).I still love the same music(80s tragic!) Especially Australian 80s bands.I still love the same foods as I did before,hate trying new things,in case I don't like it and then it's a waste of money.
I AM STILL ME I am not a disease,I have a disease,it does not have me.
I HAVE MS but I AM NOT MS
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