Where did it go?

Where did my peace go?Where did my happiness go? Where did my positivity go?
The bloody moronic dumbarse government people I have to deal with sucked it right out of me,Just like the dementors in Harry Potter they've sucked every bit of goodness out of me and left me feeling completely crappy,shitty and totally pissed off and frustrated,and i don't care if I'm spelling stuff wrong,get over it.
Internet and phone have been erractic or non existant for days,Phone company will be here some time before Friday BASTARDS,I don't even have my internet with them but because it's their infrastructure causing the problems I hardly get on line until they get their arses in gear and come and fix their cables or whatever the problem maybe'Last time it was cos birds have pecked the cables at the junction bit,months they told us nothing was wrong,'til someone finally came out and checked.My phone doesn't work properly.so I can't get online to talk to people and i can't ring anyone up either.Some days I'm online and on the phone at the same time,now i can't do either I'm feeling ver isolated.
This morning I had to speak to someone at centrelink about my pension,What a joke!!! Between the phone problems their automated phone service I found myself yelling at the automatic voice! You know your getting frustrated when the polite phone voice makes you want to scream!! But seriously,an hour on hold to finally speak to a real person?? that was after 2 hours of trying to get thru,plus finally getting online doing what i needed to do to report earning only to have a message come up telling me to contact them cos there was a problem AAARRRGGHH!!!! That's what I've been trying to do!!
Then I finally get to speak to someone and my words start sticking and i can't talk properly and i sound like an idiot,so then she starts speaking to me in that overly calm,pitying tone that drives me crazy.I hate this fucking disease so much,I hate how it's tearing me apart bit by bit.I hate how it's taking away my ability to communicate effectively.I just fucking hate it so much.
Today is a really bad day and I want my peace back,maybe this is me maybe I should stop kidding myself and accept that it's not MS I am after all just a bitch.
I hate everything today.I hate MS