The last few weeks has been amazing for me,I've learnt so much and opened up my life to strangers,anyone who know me in real life knows I just don't do that.I'm very wary of letting people close,been hurt too much in the past so I've built walls around myself and my heart.
I joined a lot of online support groups and have been meeting people from all over the world who I have nothing in common with and know nothing about except that we have MS,but that linking together and fighting the battles with back up has really made a difference to me and how I think and feel about myself .I think I might actually be worth liking a little bit!
I'm sitting here with my fingers hovering over the key board,not really knowing what to say but knowing I need to say something,I can actually feel the words but can't put them into any kind of sensible,readable pattern.I've got this kind of excitement running through me like I'm on the verge of something incredible but I just can't seem to grasp it and hold onto it long enough to know exactly what it is or what it means.It's frustrating me.
This must be what explorers felt like when they set out on a voyage of discovery,my voyage though is into myself.I could really use one of those miniaturized space rockets that I could get inside and start exploring me.See inside my brain(maybe do a bit of myelin repair work while I'm in there!) and pull out all the stuff that I'm thinking about but can't make sense of.I keep thinking maybe my blog has run it's course and maybe I'm done with it,maybe it's time to move onto some other way of expressing myself but deep down I know I'm not done.I think I've got rid of the top layer of clutter and it's time to dig down a bit further and get even more crap out.
Completely different subject and something that would have me jumping for joy of I could jump!! My daughter is pregnant WOOHOO!!!!! Yep,I'm going to be a Grandma,very exciting :o) Sarah and her partner Luke,are going to have their 1st baby in late October.It's awesome and I can't wait to meet this tiny person,I want to get as healthy as I can and do everything I can to limit my symptoms so I can be the best grandma to the baby as I can be.Blows me away that I can love someone this much who I have yet to meet.
Great news, both your feeling like you're a person you can like now, and the new person getting ready to come into your life!
ReplyDeleteYou've done a terrific job blogging you way through things, and I congratulate you for sticking with it, and for being prepared to let others into your world. I've gained the feelings of 'kinship' almost as you shared your story.
Thank you for that.