Just gone 11.30p.m.I suppose I should go to bed but I'm wide awake.Looks like a long night ahead,all I've been doing the last week is sleeping and resting.Guess it's messed up my body clock so instead of being tired at night I'm all out of sync.
So my tattoo...not sure if I can explain it so someone else can understand but it wasn't just something I wanted to do it was something I Needed to do.It's sort of me accepting MS,in a way claiming back a bit of control of my life.Kind of saying "screw you MS,you might have some of me but you'll never claim my spirit".Hmm,I need to think about this some more cos I can't find the words to express myself properly at the moment.
The sword though,represents courage,it's on my right ankle as I am left handed.My sword needs to be on my right side so it's easily drawn for battle.It's all very symbolic and full of meaning for me.
It's also my way of being me,of breaking away from what people and society expect of a middle aged woman,I have to some extent suppressed me most of my life so I could be "acceptable" but life is to uncertain,to unpredictable to be anything other than who you are meant to be.
I wrote a facebook status earlier today and I want to put it in here too so I don't lose it,it's what I believe.
"I am not strong,but I am courageous.Courage is not the absence of fear,it's being afraid and being willing to live in spite of it.
I am afraid but I have the courage to keep living,to keep fighting,to keep hoping"
Think I might try to sleep now
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