The Wall

I think I know what marathon runners mean when they talk about hitting the wall.I've reached a point where I honestly don't think I can do this anymore.I'm so damn tired of dealing with all this,the physical problems,the emotional turmoil,the financial issues,the burden I am to my husband,the fact that my children help and support me instead of the other way round,the way it's meant to be.I'm tired of  bitching and whining and moaning,I'm tired of dealing with crap.I hate that my life has been one disaster after another.I hate that people have thought that it was okay to treat mt badly,to abuse me,hurt me,lie to me.I hate that I still feel this shit even after all this time.Doesn't matter how hard I try I can never seem to be free of all these thought and emotions,I still can't stop myself being afraid of everything.
Doesn't matter what I try or how hard I work I can't get thru this.Can't get thru it,can't get over it,it's too high.Can't go round it,it just goes on for ever there is no way around. I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm just too tired to care anymore,too tired to bother.